A supplication

 

O Lord! I looked in all six directions for a cure for my pain. Alas, I found none. I looked to past time on my right to find solace, but yesterday appeared in the form of my father’s grave. I looked to the future on the left, and found no cure. Rather, tomorrow appeared in the form of my grave. I looked at the present day, and saw it like a coffin carrying my desperately struggling corpse. I raised my head and saw that my corpse was looking down at me. I lowered my head and saw that the dust of my bones underfoot had mixed with the dust of my first creation. Turning away from that direction, I looked behind and saw a temporary world with no foundation revolving in valleys of nothingness and the darkness of non-existence.

Since I saw no good from that direction either, I cast my eye ahead. I saw that the door of my grave stood open at the end of my way, behind which the highway leading to eternity caught my eyes from afar. What I have is but an insignificant free will lacking power and having only a short range that cannot penetrate the past or discern the future. The arena where the willpower is active is brief present time and the passing present instant. Despite all my destitution and helplessness, the “pen” of Your Power has inscribed infinite desire and ambition extending to eternity in my nature.

The sphere of need is as extensive as the eye reaches. In fact, wherever the imagination goes, the sphere of need extends that far, whereas the extent of my power reaches no further than my arm. My desire and need are infinite, whereas my capital is as little and insignificant as an atom. So, what does that insignificant willpower signify in the face of this need that is so great that it encompasses the universe?

However, O Lord, I give up my free will in Your way, and abandon my ego so that Your absolute Mercy may help and support me. One who finds the boundless sea of Mercy does not rely on his or her own free will, which is no more than a drop from a mirage.

O Lord, this passing life is but a sleep; this life too flies like the wind. O my wretched soul, fond of living and desirous of a long life. Awaken and come to your senses! Your Creator is He in Whose hand is all life and existence. His is all existence, and He gives life and existence. So, sacrifice yourself in His way to gain permanence, for a negation negated is an affirmation. Thus if our non-being is negated (in favor of being), our being finds true existence.

 

O God, O All-Generous and Munificent! Grant to me a life and place from Your Presence. Make me of limitless value in Your sight, for surely You are the All-Preserver, the All-Protector.

 

Said Nursi