The second station

 

 

A supplication

O Lord. Heedlessly not trusting in You, but relying on my own power and will, I looked in all six directions for a cure to my pain. I found none. However, it occurred to me: “Isn’t it enough for you that you have pains as cure?”

In heedlessness I looked to the past on my right to find solace. But yesterday appeared in the form of my father’s grave, and the past as the huge tomb of my forefathers. Instead of consolation, it filled me with horror.*

*Belief shows that huge, terrifying tomb to be a familiar and illuminated meeting place for the gathering of friends.

I looked to the future on the left, but found no cure. Rather, tomorrow appeared in the form of my grave, and the future as the large tomb of my con temporaries and future generations. Instead of giving me relief, It scared me.*

*Belief and the peace it provides show that frightful large tomb to be a feast of the All-Merciful in delightful palaces of bliss.

As no good appeared from the left either, I looked at the present. I saw it like a coffin carrying my desperately struggling corpse.*

*Belief shows that coffin to be a place of business and a glittering guest-house.

Finding no cure in that direction either, I raised my head and looked at the top of the tree of my life. I saw that its single fruit was my corpse, looking down at me.*

*Belief shows that this fruit is not a corpse. In reality, it shows that the spirit, which is to be favored with eternal happiness in an eternal life, has left its worn-out home to travel among the stars.

Despairing of that direction too, I lowered my head and saw that the dust of my bones had mixed with the dust of my first creation. This only increased my pain.*

*Belief shows that dust to be the door to Mercy and the curtain over the windows of the hall of Paradise.

Turning away, I looked behind and saw a temporary world with no foundation revolving in valleys of nothingness and the darkness of non existence. Giving no cure, it added more gloom and terror to my pain.*

*Belief shows that world to be the missives of the Eternally Besought One and sheets of Divine inscriptions. Having completed their duties and expressed their meanings, they leave their results behind for a new existence.

Since I saw no good from that direction either, I looked in front and saw the door of my grave standing open at the end. Behind it was the high way leading to eternity, which caught my eyes from afar.*

*Belief shows the grave to be the door to the world of light. As that way leads to eternal happiness, it cures my pain.

While looking in these six directions, I felt only horror and desolation. Apart from an insignificant free will, I have nothing with which to resist or oppose them.*

*Belief gives a document for relying on an Infinite Power in place of our willpower, which is like matter’s smallest indivisible part. Indeed, belief itself is such a document.

Human free will lacks power, and its range is short and itself is inaccurate. Apart from serving as a tool to achieve human deeds [which God creates], it cannot do or create anything.*

*Belief causes the willpower to be used in God’s name and makes it sufficient against whatever it faces. It is like a soldier who uses his insignificant power on the state’s behalf being able to do far greater things than he could do on his own.

It can neither penetrate the past nor discern the future, and is of no benefit in regard to my ambitions and pains in regard to them.*

*Since belief takes its reins from the hand of the animal body and gives them to the heart and the spirit, it can penetrate the past and the future, for the heart’s and spirit’s sphere of life is broad.

Human willpower is active only in the brief present time and the passing present instant. I have infinite needs and an innate weakness. I am destitute and helpless. I am in a wretched state due to the terror and loneliness coming from the six directions. And yet infinite desire and ambition, inscribed on the page of my being by the Pen of Power, is embedded in my nature. Indeed, samples of everything in the universe are contained in my being. I am connected with all of them, and I work for them.

The sphere of need is as extensive as sight, and extends as far as the imagination. I need whatever I do not have, and so my need is limitless. Yet my power extends only as far as I can reach. Thus my wants and needs are infinite, while my capital is minute and insignificant. So, what does that insignificant willpower signify when confronted with such need? I have to search for another solution.

The solution is not to rely on our willpower, but to submit to the Divine Will and seek refuge in His Power by trusting in Him. “O Lord. Since this is the way of salvation, I give up my free will on Your way and abandon my ego.

I do this so that Your Grace may help and support me out of compassion for my impotence and weakness, that Your Mercy may take pity on me because of my want and need, and that It may be a support for me and open its door to me.”

Whoever finds the boundless sea of Mercy does not rely on his own free will, which is no more than a drop of water seen in a mirage. He does not abandon Mercy and resort to his will.

Alas! We have been deceived. We thought that this worldly life is constant, and thus lost it thoroughly. Indeed, this passing life is but a sleep that passed like a dream. This life, having no foundation, flies like the wind. Those who rely on themselves and think they will live forever certainly will die. They race toward death, and this world, humanity’s home, falls into the darkness of annihilation. Ambitions are time-bounded, but pains endure in the spirit.

Since this is the reality, come, my wretched soul that is fond of living and wants a long life, that loves the world and has boundless ambition and pain. Awaken and come to your senses. Consider that while the firefly relies on its own dim light and always remains in night’s boundless darkness, the honeybee finds the sun of daytime and observes its friends (flowers) gilded with sunlight because it does not rely on itself. In the same way, if you rely on yourself, and your being and self-confidence, you will be like the firefly. But if you dedicate yourself, your transient being and body on the way of the Creator Who gave it to you, you will find, like the honey bee, an endless life of being. Dedicate it, for your being and your body is no more than a Divine trust to you.

Moreover, it is the Creator’s property; it is He Who gave it to you. So use it for His sake unhesitatingly and without placing Him under obligation so that it will gain permanence. For a negation negated is an affirmation. Thus if our non-being is negated (in favor of Being), our being finds true existence. The All-Munificent Creator buys His own property from you. In return, He gives you a high price like Paradise, looks after it for you, and increases its value. He will return it to you in a perfected and permanent form. So, my soul, do not wait. Do this business, which is profitable in five respects. As well as being saved from five losses, make a fivefold profit in one transaction.12

 

Bediuzzaman Said Nursi

12 Refer to The Sixth Word for the five profits or advantages and five losses. (Tr.)